On this Father’s Day: The gift every unattached daddy should bestow upon himself…

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Tastefully crafted by Miss Beehaven on  June 12th, 2012

Stripper, Daddy Issues, Dating

Image Source: deMotivate.me

I’d like to take this moment to wish a HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to my dearly departed papa who was the first man to tell me how fabulous I was. Although, come to think of it, he may have been talking to his supermodel girlfriend who was standing behind me at the time. That does sound more like papa, but no matter, the point is that daddy’s (should be) to a little girl what Promises or the Betty Ford Clinic are to celebrities – always there to support them and pick them up when they fall apart.

Image Source: DirtyShirty.com

Of course not every princess has a king firmly in her corner. To those girls I say, raise your champagne glass and toast Father’s Day loud and proud. After all, ‘daddy’s girl’ and ‘daddy issues’ are only one word removed from each other – and that word means all the difference between fun and frigid.

Me? Of course I have daddy issues darling! What self-respecting fashionista, empire-building, champagne sipping (swilling), man dating (dumping), stiletto wearing, life of the party DOESN’T lay claim to having her very own daddy issues? And there have been many (many) happy men over the years who have taken on the (deliciously) hard task of helping me work through those issues, sometimes even three or four times a night.

I honestly can’t believe the bad press girls with daddy issues have gotten over the years. Darlings, do I really need to explain to you that these girls are only a smile or a kind word away from showing you the time of your life?

Image Source: TrendAndTonic.com

Take my luscious Boobzie girl Sheila for instance. A ‘daddy issue’ darling on the hunt for a man she can call (sugar) daddy. Nobody parties like our darling devil in a low cut top. There isn’t a man alive who could say no to her – except darling old dad, of course – but his bad parenting is your gain.

In fact, I am so inspired by my crusade to repair the bad press done to all vixens daddy-damaged, that I have put pen to paper and --after many glasses of champagne --I have created the following list of reasons why men should only date girls with daddy issues.

Not since Moses came back from camping with his list of rules has a list been so monumental, so take notes gents.

1. You never have to attempt to live up to her memory of her father
2. Bring her home whenever you want – after all, daddy doesn’t care!
3. She’ll call YOU daddy and beg for a bit of “discipline”
4. If you’re dating a girl with daddy issues, you’re now allowed to celebrate Father’s Day with all the beer you can drink! No children required.
5. No parental control growing up means no self-control now (you’re in for a wild ride mister!)
6. Low expectations…need I say more?

Image Source: Zazzle.com

In fact, I will take this one step farther -- honey, you don’t become the Most Fabulous Woman in the World by standing still -- and suggest that you don’t settle for anything less than a girl who comes complete with her own daddy issues; the reason my viral studs is this, ‘daddy issues’ is really just code for ‘party girl,’ and who doesn’t love a party?

Image Source: vi.sualize.us

Boys of the world, listen up!  Next time you meet a girl with obvious daddy issues – you will know her by her consuming need to please you and her ability to drink you under the table – stop where you are, drop to her feet where you are instructed and immediately lift her up onto a pedestal. Bonus points if the ‘pedestal’ is made of jewelry; it’s a metaphor darling, pay attention.

Because honey, take it from me, unless you’re into a very kinky ménage a trios you want to stick to girls who aren’t already attached to (another) man in their life, other than dear 'ole daddy.

As I always say, if it’s not all about you then honey, why bother?

XXOO Darlings!

Tastefully crafted by Miss Beehaven on  June 12th, 2012

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